So About My Bed
I mentioned in an earlier post… I don’t make my bed – ever. (That’s kind of a tiny lie, because in the past few months, I have been caught with a “made up bed” a couple of times…that’s another story though.)
What I really meant is that I don’t roll out every morning and start wrestling that king size monster…nor does it even cross my mind.
I have read about the alleged correlation between being a successful person, and making your bed every day. Are you frickin’ kidding me?? I have A LOT to say about this -but first, this is where it all started…
In his 2014 commencement speech at the University of Texas, Navy Seal William H. McCraven advised the graduates;
“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. And by the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.
And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.
If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.“
Hey I get it, really – the intended sentiment isn’t lost on me. Get up with the right mindset, do what needs to be done, keep doing what needs to be done, at the end of the day… lots of stuff gets done.
The flaw is that I PERSONALLY know people who get up and make their bed every single day – and then they spend the rest of the day being a POS. And, I know people who don’t make their bed and are amazing people who help others, succeed at their jobs, take care of their families, etc… and so on.
The notion that a made bed will help you overcome a miserable day is a stretch… And I am pretty sure that a made bed is not going to play any part in someone changing the world. I’m sorry but that speech (at least this part of it) was lame in my opinion. Of all the things that man could have said, given his education, experiences and background… and he said that.
I will give him this one…in a later portion of his speech he states;
“If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.”
It was at least semi-relatable.
Sometimes, for some people, just “getting up” is a success. We’ve all had those days. So to align your own or someone else’s ability to succeed with another person’s method just doesn’t make much sense to me. (Fish…climbing a tree – same/same)
For me its about priorities, plain & simple (because let’s be honest, mornings suck & need to be plain & simple). First, note the key words here are “For me” – because I am going to talk about my personal priorities which I am fully aware are different from others, thats why they are called “personal” priorities. If your personal priority is to “wake and make,” please do not let me influence you otherwise – you do you.
My mornings start at 5:45AM. (<— I could end this post right now and not expect a single inch of pushback… but I will go on for the sake of entertainment.)
- 5:45AM – Google or Bing or who ever that insanely annoying voice is on my phone – cheerfully announces that it is NOW 5:45AM!! …like some Stepford lady psychopath sitting on my nightstand…and she will KEEP saying it until I make her stop. Rude.
- I slap around for it in the dark (because its still dark at 5:45AM) and just in case there was some kind of cosmic malfunction in my alarm settings – I hopefully peek with one squinted eye (because OMG my retinas!) just to make sure it is IN FACT 5:45AM. (It always is… every. single. time.)
- 5:47AM – Still laying in bed. The “successful” person in me is still trying to sleep because SHE believes that successful people need plenty of sleep. The “leisure lover” in me is shuffling through all the reasons it would be ok to stay in bed another 15 minutes. (Neither is thinking about making the bed.)
- 5:50AM – The “Mom” in me is yelling by this point and the body that carries them all around is slowly rolling out of bed so she will shut up.
- Sadie has taken over her Daddy’s side of the bed (can’t say I hate that change) so I reach over and jostle her awake…and then I head to the toothbrush. (That’s actually MY first task of the day – some people make their bed, some people brush their teeth… whatever turns you on.)
- 5:55AM – I wash my face, rummage through the “take Sadie to school” attire, toss my hair up in a baseball cap, let the dog out, head to the kitchen – where I boss Alexa around for a few minutes about the weather & news and fix a bite of breakfast for “Sadie the Grouch.” (she is NOT a morning person – it’s genetic)
- 6:10AM – [cue the western showdown music] Sadie breaches the doorway from her room. We stare at each other. (Its touch & go for the next minute.)
- 6:11AM – Breakfast is examined. Sometimes eaten. Sometimes not. (Sometimes there’s crying… either or both of us.)
- 6:15AM – Let dog back in. Feed dog. Let dog back out.
- 6:20AM – Finally make a cup of coffee. (Second task of the day – SUCCEEDING!!)
- 6:25AM – Sort through 900 pieces of paper from Sadie’s school binder. Fill out all the forms (My God…the forms!!). Discuss each & every single piece of paper. Negotiate what I can & can’t throw away. Pack binder back up. Make snack for after school. Load everything into backpack.
- 6:40AM – Clean up kitchen. Remind Sadie; brush teeth, comb hair, find socks, put shoes on, turn off lights, argue why you can’t take 17 Barbies to school (take 17 Barbies out of backpack when she’s looking for socks)
- 6:45AM – Remind Sadie of 4/5 of tasks above. Check work email for anything urgent (it’s always urgent), answer urgent email. Remind Sadie of 2/5 tasks above.
- 6:50AM – Make coffee to-go for drive to school. Find keys.
- 6:55AM – (On the best mornings – if all of the above is done by 6:55AM) Snuggle on the couch with Sadie. Usually in silence, but sometimes she wants to talk by then. She always wants to snuggle. I die a little inside thinking that these days are numbered.
- 7:05AM – Out the door to school.
(No where in that span of time did I think about my unmade bed…not even once.)
- 8:10AM – I am back from the typical 1 hour drive (to & from) school. I have usually had no less than 3 phone calls & don’t even get me started on the incoming texts by this point. If I somehow HAD a free morning an hour earlier, I probably don’t now. I get dressed (for real this time) – fix my face, the baseball cap sometimes stays – and I get to work… whatever “work” is on any given day. (Still haven’t thought about my bed…nor do I have time for it now.)
The rest of my day is spent handling my business, my clients, taking care of websites, running errands, grocery shopping, an occasional lunch with friends, laundry and a list long & mighty of other things that I won’t get to. At 4:30PM its time to get back to the school to pick Sadie up – head home, make dinner, take baths, do homework, clean the kitchen (again), and eventually crawl back into that unmade bed, snuggle with my girl, catch some Zzzz’s so I can get up at 5:45AM and do it all over again.
If I study the morning timeline, the only real option for time to make a bed (my bed would take about 10 mins – the pillow situation is fabulous but reee-dic) would be either PRIOR to 5:45AM (get real)…or in place of snuggle time…not happening. (And if you are itching to somehow rearrange or improve my morning routine…just sit with that a minute.)
What was that you ask? What about weekends or holidays when its not an early school morning? I’m glad you asked. I WOULD STILL RATHER SPEND MY TIME DOING SOMETHING ELSE.
So here is a great time to bring up what “success” means to different people.
To some, “success” is status or a job title. To others, it might be money or cars. (Or making the bed every morning.) Success can mean something different to every person you ask…and it should. Success is about “personal priorities” and doing what it takes to keep them in line. For all the bed-makers out there, I applaud you and hope that you are doing exactly what you want to being doing with your 1,440 minutes each day. I hope that nothing & no one important to you is getting left out and you have no regrets when you drift off to sleep at night. If getting up and making your bed every morning makes you FEEL good, MOTIVATES you to be a better person, COMPELS you to change the world and FULFILLS you in a way that spending that time otherwise would not…please do not change a thing!
For me, success is intimate. I find happiness in the success of keeping my priorities straight…especially when there are simply some things every day that are not going to get done. I love the quote, “Let people do what they want to do, so you’ll know what they’d rather do.” I would rather snuggle on the couch for 10 minutes ANY DAY than make my bed. So that’s what I do.
You do you.